-cleric-

well, to make a long story short...HIM sucked live...there i said it, they SUCKED. sorry to disappoint all of the cky and bam fans, but come on. when he wasnt crooning way too low and away from his mic (couldnt hear a damn thing from his mouth) he was smoking, mixing a drink, or drinking said mixed drink. the eq was way off, the bass and guitar were overly sloshy, the drums were almost nonexistent, and the keyboard sounded like the gain was too high. i like him, dont get me wrong, but soil put on a far better show.
end concert.
cleanup starts.
5h17 goes down:
i spot shaun (the other guitarist from soil) mulling around the sidestage area, grab his attention, and start up a conversation. he remembered me from fletcher's (we, fye, were there promoting the new soil album - re.de.fine). i introduced him to karen, he signed a few autographs and kicked back a few shots with the bartender. after all that, he took us out the back door and to the tour bus. there we met up with tom and ryan (drummer and singer) and i kicked back a few shots of jager and 2 beers with shaun tom and the roadie...unfortunately, i forgot to take my shotglass with me...tim (bassist) came in and we talked for a bit. shaun ended up giving me a demo from a band in florida, Order by Chaos. karen snagged my keys, we said our goodbyes and headed back to baltimore.

have i ever told you how much SOiL rocks...no? well, it's because there aren't enough positive adjectives in any language. karen and i rolled up to the 9:30 club at about 7:50pm. the line was already wrapped around the building, which i doubt had happened in the time it took to realize that i had left our tickets in the car, walk back, and then head to the door. so there we were, in line, surrounded by 16 year olds sporting black and pink, bam and him, heartagrams galore! and not one person...okay, 2 people, karen and i...were there with any desire to see soil. karen was the first to spot them. ryan and adam (singer and guitarist for soil) were chilling by their tour bus. finally, i spotted them walking toward the venue. EVERYONE ELSE WAS CLUELESS - so i walked over and said hi. unfortunately they were heading in for sound check.
doors open.
enter the crowd, a truly eclectic mix of young and old, guys and dolls, "goths" and "norms" (as one 13 year old described it). up to the front! wow, that was easy, but that was mainly because the average height of those trying to get there was maybe 5'4". i felt sooo OLD. they always play good music before the show and between sets at the 9:30club - that night was no exception. karen and i, among "der kind" belted out "devil in jersey city" by co&ca...that got us a few sideways glances and laughs from the underage crew we were immersed in. (btw the co&ca show /last show of the spring/ rocked my socks!)
lights dim.
the into loop for soil starts up...everyone else looks confused. they kick right into "pride" off the new album. it was at this point that i started to kirk out. they rocked all the way through their set, stopping only to thank the crowd and give love to those who knew one or two soil songs (meaning "Halo" and "Halo" for most people there). the crowd warmed up to SOiL rather quickly. kids started jumping and moshing and generally having a grand old time. then they played "bring me down" (an old fav of mine) - super-heavy, fast-paced, grinder that that song is - heheh...i couldn't resist!! *shnickity shnickity* i went into full-on wolverine berserker rage! knocking kids left and right until, finally, i tripped over one of the casualties of war and got kicked in the head a few times. SOiL played halo, ended the set right, and everyone began the wait for HIM...

Well, here we go again, ive sorted out the crap in my life, ditched a TON of baggage, and with help from a few close friends (Brother James, Sister Tina, Brother Frank, Brother John) moved on with life...oh, and thank you microsoft for the upgrade, ver 4.2 seems like it could be cool
and as such, i ask that everything prior to this entry be deemed as a complete work of either fiction or ancient history

Much Love

NOTHING...thats how i feel...ive surrounded myself with people, and found no change in myself. and so, ive pushed them all away. ive lost my passion for my guitar, it sits unused in a corner now (ive NEVER done that). i feel like i might lose my job soon. its all because im a f**k-up. i'm torn emotionally between two people. cant make my mind center any more. part of me wants kathy back in any way possible, and the other wants tina to stay with me, at least for now and as long as eternity. problems with both:
kathy - ive pushed and pushed, now she seems to not want anything to do with me...my fault.
tina - we both are just recovering from rough break-ups, and therefore arent ready for another serious relationship. and it seems like thats where its going, but neither one of us will let it. its normal, but painful...at least she talks to me though.
i dont think i can hang around with anyone i work with any more...i need a life outside of the workplace, its just not good business, and that was how this all began. suicide seemed an answer at first, but not any more. ill live with my pain, and learn from it. im going to have some bad scars though (emotionally, mentally and physically)
i HATE what i have become...i used to at least like myself

all i want is someone to love me and tell me its ok...

MUAHAHAHAHA
well, last night rocked! sonar was great, again...and my buddy steve came along too. man, i haven't need him in a while. but this headache, blech...i didnt think i drank that much last night, but anythings possible. taked to david and matthew last night about a music project they are starting. jerricka and some of her crew showed up later. meg was HOTTT. blah blah blah. hangover hurt...

more later

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

well, ive been wasing most of my time these days..nothing seems wothwhile. the few friends i have are great, but i still cant get over the massive loss ive had. ive added a few notches to my arm, 20 in two days. it felt good and that is what bothered me the most about it. i hate work, and thats all due to one person that i work with. she used to be my friend, but now she lives in a den of lies and hate. ive been outcast.
on the bright side, ive met a few people online, and they definitely help me pass the time.
ive decided that im going to try to struggle through life for a little while longer. ill see where i am in about a month from now, if nothing has changed, i might say goodbye then.

ok, a simple slip of the fingers, and ive deleted 3 posts now...im getting aggrivated.

i have court at 1:15 in glen burnie
who would have thought that attempting to avoid an accident (being rearended by a moron in a truck) could ever lead to a $140 fine for speeding. we'll see how it goes.

i need a nice lil notepad for work, one that is blue, and fits in my pocket - i want to put everything that i deem irresponsible, neglectful, improper, or offensive as soon as i witness it at work (this all pertaining to the omega-bitch).
my boss was definitely the last in line when we were all handed souls.

other than work and court, my life is doing rather fine. last samurai was awesome (best movie ive seen since pirates). ive been able to work on some guitar licks.

JAMES! I WANT TO JAM ASAP, MEANING THIS WEEKEND IF POSSIBLE!
JEREMY! I NEED TO GET SOME WORK DONE ON AT LEAST ONE SONG BEFORE YOU GO TO INDIANA!

(to the tune of vulcan by snake river conspiracy)
"checking in the box just like the drone you think i am, youve managed to convince yourself but i dont think you can MANAGE ME! life an astonishing thing that i think youve never really earned, in your comfy lil office talking on the company phone, shit has she lost her mind or has it not been there all the time."

Your Threesome by soleta
username
age
middle name
location	In moving vehicle of your choice
Partner the first	David Wenham
Partner the second	Liv Tyler
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

erin is beautiful, wonderful, and painstakingly cute!!!
actually, erin is this chick that i just met the other day...kind of funny, she knows just what to say when im feeling bad.
natalie and matt -- theres not enough i can say about those two. i really love them and wish them nothing but the best.
then theres megan, the little amish pimp. strong enough to sit through the cat in the hat with me on a night that i really wanted to just break something. thanks sweetness ^_^
matt, mark, and james are an odd bunch, its like they have one mind >.>
and then axyl...i mean, jeremy. that there is one crazy dude.
badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger
there are a few others worth mention (rinaldi, john, jason, allyn, melissa, katie, kathy, and so on)
well theres the cast for this ongoing saga
mushroommushroom
im kind of anxious to see how the next chapter of this story goes...ill talk later, i guess

so ive come to a point in my life, yet again, where everything seems to fit. my friends are great, my gf is the sweetest person in the world, my job is...well...i have a steady job, but somehow i am not content. i feel like something is wrong, when i know there isnt. why? i cant accept that everything might be fine for once. its thrown me headfirst into an insomniatic pit (4 days and counting.) and everywhere i turn there is something that throws a wrench into some aspect of my current existence.
more on this later

Well, ive caved in and opened an account...as soon as something actually happens to me, ill let you all know